Because They're Better Off
by silentstory
Summary: Leah's attempt at suicide. LPOV, JPOV maybe others. Blackwater
1. Chapter 1

_LEAH_

She sat in the clearing, the woods spinning around her. She had just phased back, she dressed and now she was sitting here shaking. Shaking because the world was just too much for her. Shaking because she didn't know what to do. Shaking because she realized that she loved him. Him, of all people. She was over Sam, that was for sure, but _he_ was what she wanted. And what she couldn't have. She sure did have a habit of wanting the people who could hurt her the most. _Jacob._ How could she have let herself fall in love with Jacob Black? He was already imprinted, she couldn't help that. Why did these things happen to her. She'd known him all her life, he was Seth's friend and mentor. He was her alpha. He was her friend. And she could never have him.

So there she sat, and she took the blade in her hand and stared at it. She hoped she'd bleed enough before her freaky wolf-girl abilities healed her. One long line the length of each forearm should do it. It would be enough. She had left a note on her dresser. Hopefully no one would ever find her. Maybe she'd attract some blood sucker who would clean things up for her.

The pack would be better off without her. Jacob could pick a new beta, it wouldn't be too difficult. Seth would finally be able to live without always looking after her, and her mother could finally be happy without her mood swings and tempers. It was for the better.

Jacob would be better off, because every moment she spent with Jacob, every hug, every touch, she was taking away from Nessie what was hers. She had no animosity towards her, she felt guilty for wanting to take Jacob away. Because Nessie was growing up, and her and Jacob would be together soon. And Leah was just getting in the way of that. Because Leah could see the way Jacob looked at her, and no imprinted man should look at another woman that way. No things would be much better once she was gone. Jake wouldn't be tempted to hurt Nessie. And Leah wouldn't hurt anymore.

And maybe, just maybe, she'd see her father again. Because he was most certainly in heaven. But Leah wasn't so sure where she was going. And she honestly didn't care.

The tears began to fall as she hoped that everyone could be happy now that she was leaving. Because that's all she ever wanted for all of them, everyone she loved; happiness. And they just couldn't have that if she was around.

She took the blade and starting at her elbow gently pressed into her skin. And she slid the blade up to her wrist. She did the same with the other side. All that was left to do now was lay back and wait for the darkness to take over. She laid herself on the ground and stared up at the sky for one last time. And the last thing she heard, was a strangled howl, coming from the edge of the clearing.


	2. Chapter 2

_Jacob_

He smelt blood, and a lot of it. And it wasn't animal blood. But it wasn't quite human either. He ran into the forest, praying one of his brothers wasn't hurt or worse. And when he saw that it wasn't one of his brothers, he should have felt relief. But he didn't. Because he saw Leah, laying there, bleeding. He let out a strangled howl, and screamed in his mind that if anyone could hear him they'd help.

_Jacob, bring her to Carlisle._

He sent Quil running to the Cullen house to warn them of their arrival. And to get them out if they couldn't handle it. Because no one was going to touch _his_ Leah, no one was going to harm her. He gently pulled her onto his back and ran. He ran faster than he had ever before. If she was conscious, Leah would have been proud of his speed. Please Leah, don't let go. When he ran up to the Cullen's they were waiting outside. Carlisle took her off his back, and Edward followed him into the house. Bella left a pair of shorts on the steps, and followed them in. He phased and dressed, running into the house, to where they had laid Leah.

"Carlisle, please. I need her."

He started to cry. Because his Leah was in pain. Because despite the imprint, he loved her. He sat down and watched Carlisle stitch up her arms. He watched him try to fix Leah, _his_ Leah.

"Jacob she's lost a lot of blood."

He stuck out his arm at Carlisle.

"Take mine."

Carlisle hesitated, why was he hesitating? Couldn't he see that Leah was dying? Couldn't he see that if Leah died, Jacob would too?

"What's your blood type?"

" 'O' Negative."

"Good."

He watched as Carlisle took the blood from his arm, and transfused it to Leah. _Leah. Please Leah wake up, I need you to wake up._

"Now we wait. I'll be outside Jacob."

Carlisle left. He sat down next to where Leah lay, resting his head next to hers, tears silently pouring down his face.

"Leah, please, don't give up."

She just lay there, Leah _his_ Leah just lay there motionless. Barely even breathing, barely even alive. And there was nothing he could do to ease her pain. There was nothing he could do to make things better.

_Carlisle_

I walked outside to the living room where Edward and Bella sat.

"How is she Carlisle?"

"She's alive, but barely."

"Carlisle, I can't hear her."

"What do you mean?"

"Her thoughts, they're just empty. Theres nothing there. There's darkness and emptiness."

"Let me know if anything changes."

"Oh, and Carlisle?"

"Mmm?"

"If we lose Leah, we'll lose Jacob too."


	3. Chapter 3

_The Cullens_

"Anything yet Alice?"

"No, Carlisle. But remember, I am only watching your future, I can't see hers. Or his for that matter."

"Alright, what about you Edward?"

"Still the same emptiness, the darkness. No change"

"Thank you Edward, Jasper?"

"Even if Leah was feeling anything, I doubt I'd be able to feel anything besides Jacob. He's not in a good place right now."

"What do you mean."

"Well theres despair, and a feeling of helplessness. And determination, but to do what, I'm not sure of."

"Jasper, he's going to kill himself if Leah doesn't pull through."

"Are you sure, Edward?"

"Yes, he's thinking it out now."

"But he's imprint-"

"I know, but he chose this love. So its stronger. He fought the imprint for her, so he loves her just that much more."

The three Cullens with special abilities sat around the coffee table, Carlisle had walked to go check on Leah. Alice leaned against Jasper, frustrated.

"I hate that I can't see anything of them! I just wish I could see if they would live or not."

"I know Alice, I feel it too, I hate feeling so, so _helpless_."

"Please, Edward not you too. Jacob's feeling enough of that to last me a lifetime."

_Jacob_

She just lay there. Leah. _His Leah._ Motionless, for so long. Her breathing labored, she was scaring him. He had never seen her this weak, this helpless. She was always strong, she was always there for him. She held her mom and Seth together after her father's death. She was there for him during that whole mess with Bella, she was there for him through his confusion when he imprinted. Imprint-Nessie. He loved Nessie, there was no doubt about that, but not the same way he loved Leah. He wanted to protect Nessie, to help her grow. Nessie was family, nothing more. Leah, for some strange reason, as she helped him through so much, he wanted to fix her. He wanted to take all her pain away, to make her whole again. To make her happy. And that was stronger than the imprint.

_"Jacob."_

He gasped. He looked down at where she lay and saw her eyelids fluttering.

"Jacob, why did you let me live?"


	4. Chapter 4

_Leah_

The first thing she smelt when she woke up was Jacob. And for a moment, she felt happiness, because he was all she wanted. Waking up to his familiar scent and face made her happier than she had been in years.

"_Jacob."_

She had planned to smile, she was going to smile at him. Until she remembered. Until she realized what Jacob's presence and her consciousness meant. _She was alive. _And she didn't want to be. Then she wasn't so happy anymore.

"Jacob, why did you let me live?"

She looked up at his face, and he looked absolutely terrified. She could feel the tears collecting in her eyes, ready to spill over. She had managed to hurt him again. She had probably robbed him and Nessie of some together time. Why hadn't he just let her die there on the forest floor, let her take away all of their problems.

"Leah, I-"

"Jacob, I did this for you. So you could be happy, so you wouldn't have to deal with me anymore. I want you to be happy Jacob."

"I am happy Leah!"

"But how can you be, when I'm alive? When I'm wasting time you could be spending with your imprint?"

"Damnit Leah, I'm happy because you're alive. I couldn't give a crap about missing out on time wiht Nessie!"

"But Jake, she's your imprint. You love her. I just take away from her."

"Leah, how can you be so blind? I love Nessie, but like a sister. But you, Leah I love you."

"You have to love me Jake, you're my alpha, the pack is family."

"Maybe I should rephrase that. I'm _in love with you._ Is that easier for you to comprehend."

"Oh Jacob, you're not really. You just think you are. One day Nessie's gonna grow up, and you'll love her. You'll be in love with your imprint, as you should be."

She had started to really cry. All she wanted to do was curl up in a ball and die. He had grabbed her hand and was holding on tightly. And she didn't know if it was supposed to be comforting to her or if it was for him, but it just made her cry harder.

"Leah, oh Leah, no I won't. What, what can I do to make you believe that. I love you and I will love you forever. I promise."

"I've heard that promise before Jacob."

"I am not Sam. I am stronger than Sam. Leah, I hate what you've become. You tried to kiill yourself for Christ's sake! But I love you, and nothing can change that. I want to fix you Leah, heal you. I want to help you go back to what you were before Sam. I want you to be happy like you used to be."

But he was wrong. Because I could never go back.

"That's why you can't love me Jacob. Because I will never be Lee-Lee. Lee-Lee is happy, she isn't broken. But she's dead now. The new Leah, she just keeps hurting people. And as long as I hurt people, I can never be Lee-Lee, don't you understand. I'm only hurting you by living. And I can't bear to see you hurt, please understand that."

"Leah, you could never hurt me. I promise."

"I never was one to belive promises."

"I'll make you believe."

He leaned over where she lay, and placed his lips on hers. And his kisses were sweet and made her heart flutter in her chest. And she thought that maybe this could work, maybe he wouldn't break her heart. Maybe she could, dare she say it _love again_. She didn't want to get her hopes up, but his lips were warm, it felt like things were gettting better. So maybe, it was true, they all were better off without her, without Leah. Leah just hurt people. But Jacob belived that he could find Lee-Lee, and bring her back to the surface. So as Jacob's lips were pressed against hers, her hands entwined with his, she thought that maybe, just maybe, she'd let him.


End file.
